Have you ever had the pleasure of watching a group of 6th Grade girls? Have you had the pleasure of being a 6th grade girl?
It is such a fascinating time for our girls. So many passions, such goofiness, the desire to be an individual, and yet the intense desire to be accepted. This year Paige has bravely stepped into the world of organized sports. One of the best things about attending a small school, is the fact that everyone knows everyone and girls get a chance to participate in areas that they may not in a larger school. So, although my daughter isn't necessarily naturally drawn to running up and down the court after a basketball, she is welcomed into the team with cheers.
After a double header game day (scoring her first basket by the way! Whooo...hooo), we had the chance to sit down and celebrate over a cheeseburger. As we sat in the restaurant, my daughter shared about the inner goings on of her team. The so and so said such and such... when she shared something about a teammate who happened to be gone that day, that caused me to pause the whole conversation. "She thinks that she is better than the rest of us" "Whoa.... why do you say that?" "Well, she does." "Who says that?" "Everybody" "You know honey, you really cannot get caught up in thinking badly about someone just because that is what everybody says"
Then my husband (who is helping to coach the team) and I tried to provide a different perspective. "You know, she may feel left out.. you all know each other really well, maybe she doesn't feel accepted." "Maybe she is shy"
I do hope that our words helped to give some perspective, but the discussion did really make me think. I thought about the moms who sit on the sidelines, the conversations among those of us who are no longer 11 or 12 that can be just as negative as those that I heard from my 6th grader. Our desire to be accepted to be understood is deeply powerful.
As my 12 year old moves into this next stage of her journey, it is my deepest prayer that she will be drawn to reconciliation, drawn to trying to understand the perspective of others, and ultimately drawn to forgiveness.
Understanding things from the perspective of others and forgiving those who hurt us, is so much more than a motherly word of advice after a basketball game. It is a way of living that is often messy.
This morning I sat in service thinking about this idea of reconciliation and acceptance, when I found my heart reminded of my own need to forgive someone who has deeply hurt me. I whispered a prayer that I would be able to press into forgiveness, when I looked across our church and to my surprise saw the very person who I had been praying for only moments before. I would love the say that I immediately sought her out and we came to a place of reconciliation, but that isn't exactly what happened. My heart is continuing to move into that place of healing. I long to see things from her perspective and most of all I desire to trust that He is moving in ways that I do not understand.
As my lovely daughter learns to navigate the joys of living life with others, I know the she will both get hurt and hurt others. It is my deep prayer that she will experience and extend forgiveness. "If we really want to learn to love, we must learn to forgive." Mother Teresa
