Eek.. Even in a household with limited television, this is a reminder that images of beauty swirl all around us. A few months ago I was really thinking about how to impress a different picture of beauty in my daughter. As I watched an episode of Glee (I know, I know.. much can be said about Glee, BUT this episode had some powerful things to say about the images that we have of ourselves) I found myself sitting in the quiet of my living room with tears as I watched the characters of the show wrestle with what it means to be beautiful. In the storyline one of the main characters admits that she got a nose job in middle school in an effort to look the part of cheerleader beauty. Perhaps a wee bit hokey, but this idea that a young girl would drastically change her body out of a desire to fit in hit me hard.
Throughout history girls have done terrible things to their body in desperate attempts to fit some norm. So, as the mother of a girl moving into adolescence, is there any way that I can help her to navigate something different? Honestly, I know that I cannot shield her from every demeaning picture of women that is out there. I cannot keep her completely away from music that tears women down. I can, however, help her learn to think. Lately music has been a big deal in our house as Paige gets to break in her new nano. And while I am admittedly completely behind the times with music (I am just now in my mid-thirties really listening to U2), I am trying to enter into her world and interests. We have been listening to the music that she likes on You Tube, with the lyrics. That's been fun. And out of that we have had some good conversations.. "Do you really think that about women?" "What do you think about this language?" "No, my dear you are not downloading that song."
As I watched the Glee episode, my tears were begging for an answer on how to help my lovely daughter navigate this time in her life. The thought came to my mind of being a mirror. Mirror back to her a healthy body image. Wowzers.. Really? You mean, I have to like my body? I have to be happy with a thirty something figure that doesn't fit into the same jeans that it used to a few years ago? My husband often tells me that he thinks I am beautiful, and more often than not, my response? To shrug it off and say, "you have to say that." To live into this idea of image, is to embrace how God made me. To live what I preach rather than simply talk, talk, talk. Simply, to stand against culture is to believe something different myself. That is not always easy, but really true.
I certainly cannot say that I have had no trouble with this idea since my mid-night epiphany, but I can say that I do get it. I get that God has placed me in this position of mother for a purpose. Not to be perfect, but to be a reminder that we are created in His image. Created with a purpose, out of love.
I would love to hear your ideas on this. Have you raised a teenage girl, or two, or four? Have you wrestled with beauty yourself? What gives you encouragement? What helps you to stand against a culture with such narrow definitions of beauty?
