Endurance

This is my word for June. In May my daughter received an award for Endurance at her school. If there is a word that captures her, this would really be it and what a beautiful picture. Her teacher had words that were so deeply encouraging, and a reminder of the character that God is developing in my girl's heart.

I have been reflecting on the concept of endurance over the past month or so. What does that mean? What does that mean in a culture with marriages crumbling, youth falling to the temptations of a quick fix, the lure of finding the "ideal" career? How do we develop endurance in our lives? In the lives of our children?

Endurance is more than just pulling the blankets over our head, and praying that our trials will come to an end. (This is my tendency.) It is crying out in faith, and pressing forward in spite of every desire to run the other way. It is funny, as I write this I have the picture of pressing forward in the middle of a torrential rain storm (I live in the Pacific NW, the metaphor is never far from reality), but here is the question: should the image be one of the solitary figure pushing through the storm alone? That is certainly the image handed to me from my ancestors. Go West Young Man.. alone. What if instantly in my mind the image came up of pushing through the rain storm, and then looking to the side and seeing dear friends standing with me in the storm. Friends on their knees in prayer, friends offering a warm meal, friends crying tears along with me? As the mother of a pre-teen it is very difficult not to feel the potential of storm swirling about. I have watched the teens of dear friends struggle as they try to navigate the many obstacles of modern life. I have watched my friends question whether they can ask for help, as shame encircles their family. We have been told for many decades that "bad" children are the simple result of "bad" parenting. One results from the other. Sigh.. thank you simple Psychology. I should probably confess that I have a Masters in Counseling Psychology. I think that there are valuable tools to be learned from the study of human development and Psychology, but I also know that simplistic understandings of complex dynamics are destined to create misunderstandings. Humans are crazy complex, and modern adolescence may be one of the most complex times.

There is no doubt that parents have the number one influence in the lives of their children, but if parents feel that there is no place where they can honestly shares their triumphs and failures we are ensuring that they will not be able to endure all that they are called to in this most sacred of positions.

I am convinced that we are called to walk alongside each other in the darkest times. In the times when nothing makes sense. We are not called to endure alone, but to endure surrounded by those who can believe when we simply do not have the strength.
This year I look forward to pressing into endurance, choosing faith even in the midst of fear. I simply cannot do this alone. I am so thankful for friends and family to hear, friends and family to pray, friends and family to love!

Inspiration...

This spring I had the joy of attending a Bat Mitzvah celebration for the daughter of a friend. My friend took the Bat Mitzvah concept and modified it to reflect the values of their family. As we sat at the celebration in March, my heart was inspired to do something similar. Over the past year I have become more and more convinced that our teens are receiving a message that maturity means independence. I know that is the message that I have consumed. But what if true maturity is interdependence?? What if we are called to ask for help MORE as we get older, not less? Young adults are expected to make major decisions completely alone in our culture today. Decisions about sex, drugs, careers.... fight for the attention of our young people. Sure parents are told to stay involved, but in a culture that prides itself on doing things our way that involvement is often tenuous at best. As my husband and I discussed how we can move into our daughter's 13th year, we decided to make community the center of the celebration.

We asked four women to join us over the next year. Ranging in age from early 30s to middle 70s these women have stories to share on the joys and struggles that life has laid out for them. At the heart they each have a deep faith in God who has and is faithful to carry them through. It is my prayer that these relationships will be reminders to my daughter that she is not alone. That she is not the first to feel like she does not fit in, that she is not the first to wonder what the future will hold, that she is not the first to love and have that love misunderstood. We asked the women to commit to the next year with our family. We will meet as a group every other month starting in June. We will read a few books that tell the story of coming of age. Then on the off months, one of the ladies will take her out for some one-on-one time. The idea is not to lecture or lay out five easy steps through middle school, but rather to share our lives. I believe that there is power in this.

I am excited about this year. I am excited to step into 13 with hope rather than only fear. But yes.. I do have fears, and that is what this blog is about. I do not want to try and speak for my daughter. It is not my intention to share her perspective on this stage in her life, but rather to share mine. My hopes, dreams, fears, doubts. How do I hope to raise a 13 year old girl in a culture that threatens her very spirit? How do I cling to faith when stories of brokenness surround us?

Thank you for taking the time to share in this journey with us! Please take a moment to write comments/thoughts/questions.

Many blessings,

Krys